Chronicle article: Settling in as a New Faculty Spouse

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Date: 10/31/02

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      Thursday, October 31, 2002

      Settling in as a New Faculty Spouse

      By WILL STALLINGS
      
       
      
      I still recall the giddy sense of elation I had when my wife,
      Susan, was offered an assistant professorship at a campus I'll
      call Crestridge College. At long last, an anxious year of
      applications and interviews was over. Susan had certain
      criteria for her first tenure-track job, and Crestridge seemed
      almost ideal. Its emphasis on teaching provided plenty of
      opportunities for faculty-student interaction, which was very
      important to my wife. The college was in a part of the South
      that we both found attractive, and to make it even better, it
      was only about a day's drive from both our families.
      
      My elation was mixed with a great deal of personal relief. Now
      that Susan was employed, I could finally quit the
      industrial-management position I had held for the duration of
      her doctoral work. When she first applied to grad school she
      was told it should take only about three years to complete her
      Ph.D. When I took the manager's job, three years didn't seem
      like a long time to work in conditions I frequently thought of
      in Dantean metaphors. However, university promises aren't
      always etched in stone, and three years stretched to six.
      
      I spent those years descending into the depths of the
      employment Inferno (I mean this somewhat literally -- there
      was no air conditioning in my sweltering factory). The work
      grew more loathsome, but I was reluctant to seek another job
      while my wife was in school. I dreamed of the time when Susan
      would land a tenure-track position. I could leave the factory
      and work on my writing, possibly taking a part-time job on the
      side. I was ready to relish life as a Faculty Spouse.
      
      When Crestridge called, it appeared that our dreams had come
      true.
      
      During my wife's interview at Crestridge, she was drawn by a
      number of appealing things about the college. There was a
      large pool of faculty-development money available for
      research. Her departmental colleagues seemed warm and
      supportive. Located in a relatively rural area, Crestridge had
      a calming, bucolic charm to it and seemed somewhat immune from
      the bitter and nasty political squabbling that had marked my
      wife's graduate program. I gleefully quit my job, we sold our
      house, bid farewell to friends and family, loaded up the
      rental truck, and moved to paradise.
      
      Soon after arriving, the promises made and the perceptions
      presented at the interview began to unravel. The first to
      disappear was the possibility of research money -- something
      my wife had been looking forward to. The slight bitterness
      that only unkept promises can bring began to flavor our lives,
      and this was immediately exacerbated by our choice of peers.
      The "warm and supportive" colleagues we initially socialized
      with turned out to be angry and divisive whiners. They seemed
      to relish the hours they spent dissecting every minor mistake
      made by the Crestridge administration. We became increasingly
      unhappy with the place, but kept telling ourselves that it
      would get better.
      
      As we tried to put a good light on our crumbling image of
      academic nirvana, the pressures of tenure-track life began to
      soak up more of my wife's time. We had spent very little time
      together while she was writing her dissertation, often seeing
      each other for about 20 minutes in the morning. I'd be going
      out the door to work as she came down the stairs from her
      study after working all night, exhausted and ready to grab a
      few hours' sleep. We had no illusions about the pressures of
      faculty life, but the reality of it at Crestridge was
      something that had to be experienced firsthand.
      
      Susan was soon engulfed by committee work and other pressures.
      "Your courses must be academically challenging," she had been
      told, but the reality turned out to be something different.
      Sure, she was supposed to be tough, but students evaluated
      professors and tended to destroy those who graded harshly, and
      those evaluations counted in the tenure process. Senior
      faculty members had closed ranks and would not discuss this
      disparity between the "myth of rigor" and the need for good
      teaching evaluations. Understandably, Susan became very
      anxious about her teaching, spending long hours on class prep.
      Most nights during the week we would see each other about 10
      p.m., and spend an hour or two together before we went to bed.
      
      Crestridge is a small college, with fewer than 80 faculty
      members, so it wasn't uncommon for most of the faculty to come
      to campus social events. It wasn't long before we were both
      invited to a faculty party. I envisioned something like the
      grad-student parties my wife and I had attended, where
      students and significant others mingled as peers.
      Conversations at those parties shifted from topic to topic,
      often focusing on the grad program, but just as frequently
      covering other territory. Grad students and partners all had
      equal input.
      
      What a difference it was at a Crestridge faculty party, where
      it quickly became obvious that, at least in the eyes of many
      of the senior professors, my wife's junior status didn't give
      her permission to say much. My status was even lower, and I
      was accorded the right to sit around quietly and nod at the
      wisdom that poured from the mouths of the senior faculty
      members. Since we were under the oppressive yoke that ensnares
      the untenured professor, I found myself biting my tongue and
      not adding to the conversation, lest my wife be punished later
      when these self-anointed elders rendered judgment on her in
      the tenure committee.
      
      Given this elitist snobbery by the senior faculty members, I
      hoped that our relations with the junior scholars would be
      better. We did make a few friends among Susan's peers. Still,
      I was sometimes told, in no uncertain terms, what my place in
      the pecking order was. At one party a junior faculty member
      initiated a conversation with me. A few minutes into our talk
      (which was relatively interesting), a senior professor came
      into the room. Seeing an opportunity to chat with someone
      powerful, the junior faculty member curtly told me that our
      conversation was "boring," and walked over to talk with the
      senior professor. Clearly, chatting with a mere faculty spouse
      wasn't as important as working on his career.
      
      At least these experiences gave me a thicker skin. And I
      learned to take the elitism with a peck of salt. My next
      challenges would be to negotiate the job market in a small
      town, find some friends of my own, and learn how to survive as
      a male house-husband in a largely conservative community. Ah,
      the life of the Faculty Spouse.
      
      
      
      Will Stallings is a pseudonym. He is married to a tenure-track
      professor at a liberal-arts college in the South. His reports
      from the perspective of a faculty spouse will appear
      periodically on this site.
      
      
      

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