Chronicle article: A Teacher Learns to Let Her Students Be

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Date: 02/10/03

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    This article from The Chronicle of Higher Education
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    The following message was enclosed:
      Thomas Carruthers said that "a teacher is one who makes
      himself progressively unnecessary."
      
      What does that mean?
      How does that mean?
      
      Alan

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    http://chronicle.com/weekly/v49/i23/23b00501.htm

                  - The text of the article is below -
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      From the issue dated 2/14/2003

      A Teacher Learns to Let Her Students Be

      By NATALIE HARRIS
      
       When I first began teaching college English, I wasn't much
      older than my students. I worked at looking and sounding
      authoritative, going so far as to imitate not only the
      teaching methods but also the speech patterns (stopping just
      short of the heavy Brooklyn accent) of my favorite English
      professor. I'd show those students I had something to teach
      them! But did I? Well, yes, but it was mainly the knowledge
      I'd acquired from my own teacher, Mr. G.
      
      I had many good teachers, but none of them made the impact on
      me that Mr. G. did. He was not only passionate, but he was
      also funny -- hilariously devastating, in fact, in the face of
      literature he didn't admire. The downside was that my mind
      seemed so puny next to his (I tended to ignore the fact that I
      was 17 years his junior), my readings of literature so
      ordinary. It wasn't until years after my dissertation on Ezra
      Pound that I discovered I didn't really enjoy much of the
      highly intellectual poetry Mr. G. had taught me to decode.
      
      When I first began teaching, the notes I'd taken in Mr. G.'s
      classes became my bible. To make literature matter to my
      students as intensely as Mr. G. had made it matter to me, I
      believed I had to be as much like him as I could. That was the
      selfless stage of my teaching career, a stage I'm relieved to
      say is over. The good news was that I was passionate like Mr.
      G. The bad news was that I was emotionally overinvested in my
      students.
      
      Without children of my own, and with the energy of a
      twentysomething woman, I devoted megawatts of intellectual and
      emotional energy to my students. After class, I'd try to
      decipher the meaning of Valerie's compulsive leg swinging,
      Thalia's perpetually raised eyebrow, Dan's grin, Eric's
      furrowed brow. I devoted my weekends to preparing myself to
      answer any question that anyone could possibly ask about the
      poems I had assigned to my students.
      
      "Get a life," my daughter would have said, had she been born
      yet. And while it felt as if I had a life teaching my students
      difficult poetry, I was, in fact, missing something vital --
      my own creativity. Fear, insecurity, and insufficient
      self-knowledge had conspired to hide it from me.
      
      At the end of the '70s, when I started teaching, lecturing was
      still the prevalent mode, which suited me just fine. I
      expected my students to master the texts and to scribble
      copious notes, as I had done. Yet some students resented my
      assumptions as a teacher, and they tended to be very
      intelligent, strong-willed females. They didn't agree with my
      model of teaching; they weren't courteous, like most of my
      students; they weren't interested in learning how to study
      more effectively for my tests. They didn't want to absorb
      material, but to have a dialogue with it, and they didn't want
      to absorb my insights, but to express their own.
      
      Valerie's relentless leg swinging and Thalia's scornful
      expression were signs of their disaffection and anger. Those
      two scared me, though I didn't show it. I simply stood my
      ground.
      
      During the next decade, teaching styles gradually changed:
      Discussions replaced lectures, and take-home exams replaced
      in-class exams. Once in my 30s, I no longer worried about
      being mistaken for a college student, and I found my own voice
      in the classroom. I enjoyed weaving a discussion's various
      strains of opinion into a coherent whole. Feeling the
      confidence that comes with authenticity, I worried less about
      my authority in the classroom and became more committed to my
      students' independence.
      
      After my first child was born, my relationship to my students
      changed still more. I no longer spent weekends holed up in my
      study (which had become my daughter's bedroom), poring over
      poems, checking the dictionary for nuances I might have
      overlooked. Stroller rides and nursing sessions occupied me
      instead. When I gave a talk at my college, the topic was
      mothers and children in poetry. In front of my
      American-literature class, I'd peek at my watch to see how
      much time was left until I could pick up my daughter at the
      baby sitter's.
      
      Pam, the baby sitter, became the new authority I depended on.
      I so leaned on her that I had nightmares in which she
      disappeared and I didn't know what to do. It wasn't just that
      I needed a baby sitter who was trustworthy and reliable. I see
      now that I also needed someone to show me the proper
      relationship between caring for a child and fostering her
      autonomy -- as I had learned to nurture my students yet give
      them their independence.
      
      Pam seemed a natural at that, always encouraging the children
      she cared for to do whatever they could on their own: "Go
      ahead, Susan, take your yogurt snack out of the fridge. Please
      put away the Ritz Bits, Alison." And there they would go,
      happily doing what, at home, I would automatically do for my
      child.
      
      My own mother was as warm and attentive as Pam. But unlike
      Pam, my mother did not encourage independence. Her impulse was
      to do everything for me -- conveying the message that I wasn't
      competent to fend for myself. Now I see that whatever part my
      mother played in making me who I am, I have always struggled
      to find the right balance between dependency and autonomy.
      Because I distrusted my own resources, as a teacher and as a
      mother, I felt intensely in need of those who seemed to
      possess the know-how I lacked.
      
      Time and experience have shown me that not only did I deflate
      my own capacities, but I also inflated those of my mentors.
      Mr. G. was, indeed, a gifted teacher, and he remains a highly
      valued part of my life. Yet he became so embittered by his
      university that he retired early and turned to training dogs
      for a living. I eventually saw that Pam did not have all the
      answers, either. She divorced her husband and married a
      high-school sweetheart, who abused her until he was curbed
      with a restraining order. I know that she continues to be a
      devoted mother, just as Mr. G. is a highly regarded teacher of
      dog owners and a devoted friend to me. But they have no hot
      lines to heaven, no more power to make things go right than
      anyone else -- including me.
      
      My challenge as a teacher and mother, as I see it now, is to
      guide my charges responsibly and wholeheartedly, without
      asking that they fulfill my idea of what they should be or
      know -- so that, unlike me, they will trust themselves.
      
      That's easy to say. It's not even so hard to do now, when I
      put on my teacher's hat. Teachers have the opportunity to be
      intellectually and emotionally engaged with their students,
      without the complex, history-laden entanglements that make
      disinterest so difficult in parent-child relationships.
      
      Students tell me sometimes that they want to major in English,
      but their parents are pressuring them toward more-practical
      choices, like economics or education or biology. Or that they
      want to take some time off from school, but their parents tell
      them not to -- fearful that their absence from academe might
      not make their hearts grow fonder of it. Recently, a student
      confided that it was frustrating to read about peoples' lives
      instead of really living.
      
      "So live!" I tell my students. I refer them to James Baldwin's
      story "Sonny's Blues." Playing jazz is the only thing Sonny
      wants to do, he tells his older brother, who replies like an
      anxious parent: "You know people can't always do exactly what
      they want to do." Sonny responds, "No, I don't know that. ...
      I think people ought to do what they want to do, what else are
      they alive for?"
      
      "Do what you want to do," I urge my students. "Follow your
      bliss," as Joseph Campbell used to say. That is strenuous
      advice, requiring one to leave behind mother and father,
      mentor, and accustomed comforts to find what is essential,
      even sacred, to the self. I know how important that is, and
      also how challenging, because I did it myself.
      
      Close to 20 years after getting my Ph.D., I realized that I
      wanted not only to read, interpret, and talk about literature,
      but also to write it. I had told myself that I appreciated
      good literature too much to risk writing bad stuff, that I was
      intelligent but not imaginative, that I didn't have anything
      to write about. But I found myself turning a theoretical essay
      into fiction. I got an M.F.A. and found my own voice as a
      writer, many years after finding it as a teacher.
      
      Still, I find it hard to tell my children what I tell my
      students: "Live! Follow your bliss!" That is especially the
      case with my daughter, who is now readying herself for
      college. Alison is a fine student and an exceptionally
      perceptive young person. But I can't help seeing that she
      could be trying harder, doing more, or doing it sooner or more
      passionately. Under such a tyranny of expectation, of course,
      she has to rebel, reminding me of leg-swinging Valerie and
      scornful Thalia. Just as I've learned to do with my students,
      I have to keep reminding myself to respect my children's
      natures, to value their autonomy over my desires for them, my
      sense of what they could do if they just saw things from a
      broader perspective -- mine.
      
      The last time I taught Tillie Olsen's famous story "I Stand
      Here Ironing," my students saw the protagonist, a mother, as
      insufficiently attentive to her growing daughter's needs. They
      also saw the mother as loving, but trapped by social and
      economic circumstances. All true. But what I couldn't help
      stressing was the wisdom of the mother's words when she
      rehearses what she would say to the teacher who has called her
      in for a conference about her 19-year-old daughter, were she
      to go: "Let her be." Three simple words spell out a path so
      difficult for parents like me to follow, parents who commit
      the common error of overinvolvement.
      
      "Let her be," I repeat as a mantra, stilling my impulse to
      lecture my daughter, to steer her in this direction or that.
      She will find her way. Most college students do, by fumbling
      and stumbling, all the while taking in more than they are
      aware of, reflecting what we parents and teachers have given
      them in forms we hardly recognize.
      
      That is how it should be. Education is about transformation --
      not into what we, as parents and teachers, may wish young
      people to be, but into themselves.
      
      Natalie Harris is an associate professor of English at Colby
      College.
      

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