Chronicle article: What Am I Doing Up Here in Front of This Classroom?

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Date: 05/20/03

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    This article from The Chronicle of Higher Education
    (http://chronicle.com) was forwarded to you from:

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    The following message was enclosed:
      I am hoping many of you new (now not so new)faculty at WCU
      will open up one or more of your fall classes in the Open
      Classroom Project.
      No one has to teach, or develop as a teacher, in isolation if
      she or he would like to experience a community where talk
      about teaching
      flourishes.
      Just email me.
      
      Alan

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      What Am I Doing Up Here in Front of This Classroom?

      By RACHEL BREM
      
       I'm still working at home at 1:15 a.m. Feels like I have to
      stay up for the rest of my life. I could go get a handful of
      cereal from the box, but then I'd just have to sit back down
      again. Four more papers to read. Middle of the night, lights
      blazing.
      
      It's my first year as a college teacher. I'm 30 years old.
      
      My office on the campus has a yellow 1970s chair, an orange
      1970s chair, a veneer table, and mostly empty metal
      bookshelves. In one corner there's a giant old overhead
      projector, which I checked out from the media-loan office.
      Nothing on the walls.
      
      Last June, the deans hired me away from the lab where I was a
      postdoc, and in September I was introducing myself to 100
      psychology students packed in an auditorium. Supposedly I am
      going to teach them biology this year. Supposedly I am -- as
      part of a team of four -- leading a yearlong, full-time
      interdisciplinary undergraduate program. Supposedly I am now a
      biology professor.
      
      I begin to learn the students' names. In my office, Dave sits
      in the chair across from mine, his face perspiring -- his polo
      shirt is buttoned up to the top. Tamara, waiting outside our
      classroom for the previous class to leave, puts a hand on my
      shoulder and asks sweetly whether I've tried her favorite
      yogurt drink for breakfast. "Really, it's so good for you!"
      she says, nodding.
      
      In a lecture, I work out this whole analogy -- I explain that
      DNA is a precious set of instructions for protein machines,
      kept in a notebook sequestered in the cell's nucleus. (I
      count: about 80 people here today. Tracy appears almost
      asleep, spread out in a seat in the upper balcony with her
      coat over her. Other students politely take their pens out.) I
      had the greatest time looking on the Internet for pictures.
      Found a blueprint for a toy tractor: "So the cell has a whole
      assembly plant on site." I'm starting to hop around the stage.
      "I want you to picture it turning out tractors and
      steamrollers and cranes. But they're made out of atoms, right?
      The cell uses them to do work. That's what proteins are."
      
      As I take down the projector at the end of class, Jason comes
      up to me and asks again, if he turns one paper in late, really
      just one, will I mention it in his evaluation?
      
      Late afternoon, windowless classroom, me and 25 students. The
      deans did tell me when I was hired about "seminars." It turns
      out that all courses at the college, even science, have a
      weekly reading-and-discussion section. You can assign novels,
      essays, anything that sparks debate. Supposed to teach
      students to operate in a community. I think.
      
      Tables in a circle. We're in the second week already, and our
      book is about adolescent psychology. I have no idea how to do
      this. "OK, are we ready to get started?" But the students know
      how to break into groups of three and four and talk on their
      own. They start scooting chairs. Some are talking about how
      the book is too expensive and they were up too late last
      night. I hear Florianne (who has deep dimples and
      red-yellow-orange-dyed hair done up in barrettes,
      Renaissance-style, and who takes off her shoes under her
      Little House on the Prairie skirt) prodding her groupmates:
      "So, what do you think the author meant by that, though?"
      
      For my next big lecture, I write up a problem set about DNA
      and proteins as an in-class activity. I hand it out and then
      put down the microphone. The room is like a cafeteria, with a
      concrete floor. The students sit in their groups around big
      tables. They know the drill for class exercises: One's got the
      pen; another is paging through the book, looking for the right
      diagram. When I edge up to a table, most of them don't even
      notice me. Someone takes a swig from a water bottle. I drift
      away. A couple of young women lay their heads on their arms.
      
      When a hand shoots up on the far side of the room, I hustle
      over. What's her name again -- Kathy? All she can say is, "I
      don't get this. The DNA uses the cell to make ... I don't
      know." Her group looks up at me. That's from the lecture.
      Looks like they didn't get a word of it. OK. I say, "Remember
      what I was talking about yesterday? With the tractors? What
      was the story there -- can you remind me?" There are five of
      them (all returning students -- voluble moms over 40), but no
      one volunteers. They try to josh about it, look past me,
      shuffle their notes.
      
      I pull up a chair.
      
      The science-faculty meeting is right after class every other
      Wednesday. I go straight there with my backpack full of papers
      I'll have to grade later. Sad, pinched vacuum in my stomach.
      Take my chair; the meeting's already started. All my stomach
      gets is a watery apple I brought from home.
      
      Seminar again, week three. When everyone's arrived, I make a
      bustle out of shutting the classroom door and finding my
      notebook. Still not sure what I'm doing. The students get
      quiet. Everyone's looking at me. I say, "Maybe we should start
      by talking about your papers." Because I have discovered that
      I have to read and evaluate 25 student papers a week on the
      seminar book. Which is why I was awake at 1:15 that morning,
      reading papers with a cereal box for company.
      
      Thomas has one arm in his backpack, rummaging for something;
      he stops to listen. All their faces. What am I supposed to
      say? "Remember that stuff about a thesis? I think it's time
      for us to start putting some effort into this way of writing
      papers, where you center it around a creative opinion or a
      critique of the text. I know it may be unfamiliar to some
      people, and I know it's genuinely hard ... "
      
      After 10 minutes, I'm still talking. They're still looking at
      me. No reaction.
      
      New tactic. Think fast. A good paper is -- well, I picture
      myself at home, reading The New Yorker on the couch. What
      about when they read a magazine article about a new idea?
      Isn't it the same thing as a good paper for class? "I want
      this thing about papers to make sense to you. Do you read
      magazines? What kind of magazines do you read?"
      
      "People," Tracy says, nodding blithely. "I mostly read People,
      and I like gardening magazines, too."
      
      Whoops -- not the serious new ideas I had in mind. But OK. "So
      what makes a good magazine article?"
      
      Last August, when we planned the quarter, I heard a lot from
      my teaching team about group assignments. The college mandate
      about community learning again. Faculty members here call all
      this stuff "process." As opposed to academic content. Which no
      one seems to talk about much.
      
      So we thought up a quarter-long project on adolescence and
      puberty, based on group research, and we scheduled a
      pick-a-project-theme fair for the students. We'd tape sheets
      to the walls, and the students would sign up.
      
      My topics are all in biology. I make posters like ads for the
      topics: "Do girls get their period earlier now than in the
      past? Weigh in on this important debate!"
      
      Madness on the day of the fair. A hundred people circling the
      room, trying to borrow pens from one another. They come up to
      faculty members in consternation: "Can I sign up for more than
      one? I haven't decided yet. The good topics are all gone. I
      don't know what I want to do. I can't find my friend ... "
      
      Before the next class, just like every Thursday, I run from
      the aerobics room to the shower to the classroom. Damp gym
      clothes are going to have to stay balled up in my backpack all
      day. My glasses fog up. I try to wipe them off. I'm standing
      onstage in the auditorium making announcements through the
      microphone, and my hair is wet.
      
      Yet another seminar. Douglas sits, snuffling from smoker's
      catarrh, on a table instead of in the circle with everyone
      else. He blurts out, "I don't see how any of the stuff we've
      done in this class makes any sense at all. Like, I don't see
      about the DNA and what that has to do with anything."
      
      I nod. "What do people think about what Douglas just said?"
      
      One by one, Florianne, Tamara, Michelle, and others chime in:
      "I mean, we learned about hormones, and then we learned how
      the hormones work, and puberty and stuff, and then we learned
      at another level about the psychology." Douglas is silent now,
      stabbing at his coat with a pen.
      
      Early morning prep time. I'm on my hands and knees cutting
      plaster gauze from the arts-and-crafts store. My teaching
      partners wanted an activity that would allow students to
      reflect on their own adolescence. More process, as far as I
      can tell. "They need to make meaning of their own experience,"
      everyone kept saying during planning meetings. We set up a
      papier-mache workshop, where students make masks and then
      paint them to depict their adolescence. A creative outlet for
      the students. A different modality of learning. Right?
      
      So today 100 students spend the afternoon lying on the floor,
      slapping plaster on their faces. They laugh and screw around
      and then fall silent with concentration. I'm circling the
      room, looking on ("Wow, that's going to be great!"); I watch
      them cut out eyes, paste over lips, paint teardrops and
      lacerations. I guess they love it.
      
      Afterward, someone goes to borrow the janitors' big push
      brooms. The sun goes down. We mop around the room, cleaning up
      plaster and shreds of paper.
      
      Another late night at home. Unable to sleep at 11:30 p.m., I
      get out of bed. Pull a piece of paper out of the printer, sit
      down at the kitchen table in my pajamas. I'm obsessing about
      the group project, which starts in earnest tomorrow. They're
      supposed to assemble in their groups and start work.
      
      I picture the seminar room, industrial carpet strewn with
      chairs. The students come in and ... what?
      
      Well, I don't know. Maybe I'll give them a form to fill out.
      Questions for them to answer, like: "What role do you usually
      play in group work? How might you challenge yourself for this
      project?" Um. I'm just making this up. "What ideas does your
      group have for a theme that will bind together the individual
      parts of your project?"
      
      Fine. I'll get up tomorrow, type it up, and print it out. Tape
      it to the wall next to their topic sheets. Make 'em do it.
      Hope it flies.
      
      Rachel Brem is a visiting faculty member in the
      scientific-inquiry planning unit at Evergreen State College.
      

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